It’s okay to quit your PhD

When I was feeling stuck with my dissertation, I often felt like quitting my PhD.

When I told my thoughts (or more like my feelings) to my friends and family, they unilaterally told me I would regret if I quit.

“Once you quit, you would never be able go back.”

“You would feel like a loser.”

“You would always feel like you couldn’t finish what you started.”

“You are so close to finishing it. You are almost done.”

I was convinced, or I was afraid of feeling like that for the rest of my life, so I kept going.

After a lot of tears, nightmares and distress, I finished my dissertation, passed the defence, and graduated with that glorious PhD.

Now, do I feel good about myself not quitting it? That I kept trying and got my PhD?

The answer is No.

I actually regret I finished it.

I actually feel ashamed of becoming a PhD and not having any future lined up.

I wish I quitted when I felt like it.

I would have had more time to spend with my two little girls.

I would have at least been 5 years younger and may have been able to have another child.

I would have had more job possibilities without a PhD cause very few would want to hire a mom with a PhD.

If you feel like you want to quit your PhD, and if your inner voice and your surroundings keep telling you shouldn’t quit because quitting is simply a bad thing, I would tell you something different. 
It’s okay.

You can quit.

Honestly, becoming a PhD is not that great. It’s pretty useless. 

Time is too valuable to spend on something you don’t feel great about.

Find your passion instead. Don’t waste your money on tuition. Use it for something you love.

If you are a PhD student feeling like quitting, and especially if you are a mom I just want to let you know you are not alone. 

Ai xoxo

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